The blog

Notes from the practice

Plain answers to the questions people bring: what a family constellation is and where it comes from, what happens in a session, how to prepare, what representing feels like. Written by the people who run the sessions and the training.

Latest The method Family constellations and trauma, and what we build first What family constellations do when trauma is in the picture, why we build your resources first, and why the trauma itself rarely goes into the room. Read it about 7 minutes

Most of these began as a question someone asked in an email, or on the phone an hour before their first session. What do I need to prepare? What if I feel nothing when I represent? Does any of it work on a screen? Others come from the other direction: what a constellation actually does, where the method comes from, and what facilitating one actually asks of a person. Each note answers one question plainly, from the practice rather than from the literature, and then points you to the page that holds the full detail.

The notes

Start with a question

Every note answers one question. Some are a three minute read, some take a good deal longer.

What are you looking at?

about 7 minutes

Family constellations and trauma, and what we build first

What family constellations do when trauma is in the picture, why we build your resources first, and why the trauma itself rarely goes into the room.

about 10 minutes

The history of family constellations

The method’s creator was a Hamburg psychiatry professor almost nobody names. The real history, with sources: Thea Schönfelder, Virginia Satir, movement therapy, and what Hellinger actually did.

about 3 minutes

How to prepare for a session

Three sentences are enough preparation for a family constellations session. A psychotherapist explains which three, and what to leave out.

about 4 minutes

What to expect in a session

What actually happens in a one-to-one family constellations session, from the first question to the last ten minutes, told by a psychotherapist.

about 5 minutes

How to prepare for a workshop

You need less preparation than you think, and the useful kind is not what people expect. What to do the week, the night and the hour before.

about 13 minutes

How online constellations work

The whole picture: the three ways a constellation is set up on a screen, how representing and movement work, and what genuinely changes when the room is one.

about 4 minutes

How to prepare for an online workshop

The online layer only: joining, the two window setup that makes the day easier, and being one of many faces for a whole day without going flat.

about 4 minutes

What to expect in a workshop

Across one workshop day you may be yourself, someone’s grandmother, and a quiet witness. A psychotherapist explains what each role is like.

about 5 minutes

How to represent

You can’t do it wrong, and feeling nothing counts too. A psychotherapist explains what representatives actually do in a family constellation.

The nervous system

about 5 minutes

When your nervous system won’t settle

Tired but wired, jumpy without reason, unable to switch off. A psychotherapist explains what a nervous system that won’t settle is actually doing.

The nervous system

about 5 minutes

Listening therapy for a child, and what a parent does

A child listens at home, in headphones, a quarter of an hour a day. A psychotherapist explains the parent’s role, which is larger than it looks.

about 6 minutes

The techniques a constellation actually uses

The interview, the spatial image, representative perception, movements and statements. A trainer takes the method apart into its real parts.

about 5 minutes

How to become a family constellation facilitator

What the craft actually requires, which backgrounds people train from, and what to look for in any training. From the head trainer of one of them.

about 6 minutes

How a group forms, and how it gets its date

A giant Doodle, filled in by strangers who end up in the same group. That’s how the weekly time gets found, and why the date comes last rather than first.

about 6 minutes

Family constellations for a child

A child sets the family out in figures and knows where everyone goes. A psychotherapist on what a constellation looks like for a child, and what a parent does.

about 9 minutes

Family constellations with teenagers

A teenager can be carrying something real and have no sentence for it. A psychotherapist on a way of starting that does not run through your teenager explaining first.

about 4 minutes

Constellations for couples, and why you can come on your own

What couples bring me, what happens in a constellation about a relationship, and why you can come on your own when your partner does not want to.

Every note points somewhere

What a constellation is The method itself, taken apart properly. Workshops Where most people see a constellation for the first time. Private sessions The same work, one to one, at your own pace. Listening therapy The Safe and Sound Protocol, one to one.

What a constellation is The method itself, taken apart properly. Workshops Where most people see a constellation for the first time. Private sessions The same work, one to one, at your own pace. Listening therapy The Safe and Sound Protocol, one to one.

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